Back to school. Back in uniform. He hate to say this but he felt a little bit restricted when wearing a uniform. Less freedom, he mumbled.
The colour changed from dark blue to green but none can be said about the colour of his heart. He stood there bearing hardly with a fake smile and enthusiasm. He did it not because of love but because of necessity.
He thought he suffered the most. He was wrong.
PERTAH was a camping programme where he had to accompany a group of students as a mentor. On the outside, nobody could question his commitment in doing his job. With limited knowledge and skill he tried his best to fulfill the need of the whole system. He felt exhausted, tired and almost frustrated. He avoided himself from cursing his luck because doing so would be a betrayal to his faith. He felt doomed.
Then, the night came. It was time for evaluation of the programme for the day. As the students were fast asleep, a group of mentors sat in circle sharing their mind about the programme so far. They concluded that the activities prepared by 'the host' was regrettable. Shortage of time and exahaustion were pinpointed as the culprits.
He listened hard and shared the feeling of the other members of the circle. He was touched when one particular mentor almost burst into tears expressing the burden that all the mentors had to bear. Then, he realized that he was wrong.
He was not doomed. He did not suffer the most. Others carried more burden than him and they had every right to complain but they didn't. They just did what they were obliged to do with tears of pain streaming from the bottom of their heart.
He emphatised and pray that all deeds done were seen in the eyes of The Most Merciful. In the still of the night, he looked upon the heaven and asked himself, "How could I say that I am a believer when I am yet to be tested?"
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